You’ve heard of emoticons, right? Those little symbols that are made with text characters to make happy or sad faces? Well, here’s some ASSICONS:
(_!_) A regular ass
(__!__) A fat ass
(!) A tight ass
(_*_) A sore ass
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
Via Ultralog: Twins who were separated at birth and adopted by separate parents married each other, not knowing they were siblings.
That’s gonna leave a mark.
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and the best of luck in 2008!
If you’re on the lookout for videos online then almost certainly you’ll be directed or redirected towards Youtube. This popular network has since become a household name and there are so many members who religiously upload videos that they wish to share with others. If you want to watch something that’ll make you laugh, it’s got to be the Funny youtube category that you’ll be targeting. This is where you’ll find great gigs that’ll make you fall off the chair.
Watch amazing movies made by amateurs and professionals. The videos and films are short so you can watch them anytime and best of all you can watch as many as time permits. With You Tube vids you never know what to expect. There are all kinds of videos out there and you may just find something that’s close to your heart. The best thing being, these videos are easy to find, and if you like something you can bookmark it and even forward it to your networking circle.
Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, “I’m the best Surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”
The second surgeon said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.”
The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman’s blonde hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now she’s running for President.”
Not sure where this comes from, but I got this in an email the other day:
Anybody that knows the source, I’ll credit them…
Ready to take a Miami Limo ride?
Then check out Alpine limousine rental service in Miami. Look at this hummer they’ve got:
And its wicked interior:
That’s the kind of ride you could take around Miami if you go with them. Their hummers seat up to 22 people! Yowzah, that’s a lot of debauchery potential…with that kind of ride, I’m not even sure if you have to GO anywhere - you could just have the driver drive around town in circles. Just make sure you bring plenty of ’supplies.’
So if you’re looking for a Miami Limousine, you should know where to start…
Are you lookin’ for a night out on the town in the Big City? Why not take a New York Limo ride? Check out what you could take a ride in:
That’s the Chrysler 300, just stretched a little bit 
. Check out the interior:
Star City Limo is a limousine rental service in NYC. They’ve got some sweet rides, like the one I just showed you, and you can take a limo for any special occasion either wild (like your bachelor party or casino trip) or sweet (like prom or your wedding). They’ve got the ‘regular’ limos and exotic ones, like the Chrysler 300, above. So if you’re looking New York Limousine ride, check ‘em out.
In Richmond, Virginia today, a brain was found in a bag outside an apartment complex.
Odd.
Police didn’t know if it was a human brain or an animal brain. While investigating the possible source of the brain, only one likely candidate was identified:
Literally.
Cayman Crocs. Nile Crocs. Beach Crocs. Mammoth Crocs.
I’m not talking about crocodiles, but Crocs shoes. You can get them over at Elotta.com, a really nice ecommerce site for shoes. Crocs shoes.
In addition to the Crocs I listed above, you can get Prima Crocs and even Capri Crocs (who knew?). Just about every Croc you can think of, except for the ones that live in the New York City sewers. They’ve got more than just Crocs - you can get other hot shoes and boots, like Uggs. Say it - Uggs.
Elotta doesn’t charge an arm and a leg for shipping - each order gets it free. Of course if you want it delivered sooner, you’ll hafta shell out a couple bucks extra, but that’s legit, in my opinion. And they have a return policy, just make sure you have a receipt (print one out when you order online - don’t throw it away or skip printing it like most people do).
All in all, a pretty nice site to get your Crocs. Now go get some for yourself!
Go ahead (no pun intented), caption this photo in the comments section!
In 1986, Chuck Krakowicz was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Chuck approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Chuck worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.Chuck stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Chuck never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Chuck was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Chuck and his son Buddy were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Chuck, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man…
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Chuck couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Chuck summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Chuck’s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
Videos are all the rage on the internet these days, so sites are pooping, er, popping up all over the place with videos. FunnyVideoHub is just once such place that you can get your free funny videos. The’ve got videos from all over the net, and you can find your extreme videos and funny ads there, too.
Check it out!
Call Johnnie Cochran! Wait, he’s dead…
Well, OJ’s screwed then.
He’s been busted for robbery with a deadly weapon, assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit robbery with a firearm and faces up to 30 years in prison. At 60 years old, that could be a life sentence.
Is this karma at work here?
OJ apparently went to a Las Vegas hotel room with two armed buddies to confront some guys that were trying to sell some of his sports memorabilia (supposedly the stuff was stolen from him). They’ve even got him on tape (doh!). But he doesn’t exactly look worried in his mugshot:
